Always interesting to hear what others have to say about their Asian-Caucasian marriages, Tim. I began my own association with Asian culture back in Berkeley of the early 70s, after engaging in undergrad East Asian and Asian-American studies at UCB.
Fortunately, I am quite selective about my friends and uncultivated people do not fit into that circle of personal associates, so I've never had anyone ask insensitive (or just downright ignorant) questions about my choice (as a white male with a Chinese wife) in marital partners. As a famous Greek philosopher once posited, "The superior person associates with superior people."
At any rate, I've been married (I am a Caucasian person of Irish-German ancestry) to a lovely Chinese woman for exactly 34 years now and the cross-cultural learning curve never stops! All my vaunted knowledge and studies of Chinese, Korean and Japanese cultural history stood me in absolutely no stead at all when it came down to living life with a woman from one of those cultures but fortunately, I can state honestly and openly that every single year of that time, despite numerous challenges and reality-testing, has been immensely fulfilling, and I have NEVER once regretted my choice of a life partner. Accordingly, I consider myself very fortunate indeed to have a such a wonderful, attractive, clever, resourceful, intelligent, charming and supportive woman as my mate (and she's all of that, as well as a telecommunications engineer).
In recent decades, I've observed among many younger Asian-American women a tendency to disparagingly dismiss white/Asian marriages as a manifestation of what they alternately regard as 'Asian fetish' or 'Yellow fever' by white males, the insinuation being that what matters most is NOT the woman herself as an individual but her Asian racial association.
To that, I usually responded that aside from the above attributes that attracted me to my wife, I have always had a strong regard for the Confucian regard for family (and particularly children). It never fails to touche me deeply to see an Asian mother with her small children, since that maternal nurturing instinct is so deeply ingrained in traditional Asian heritage. I have long witnessed the often callous and casual attitudes too many American women have concerning marriage (and ‘spawning’) and I am quite confident that one won’t find a more committed, more actively involved and dedicated mother than a woman from the principal Asian cultures.
At any rate, good on ya, Tim, for communicating these thoughts to us as you have. You can safely ignore all the ‘small minds’ that pose these insipid questions you cite here and all the rude stereotypes that they bespeak. What matters most, of course, is that bond you have made with your chosen one and I toast the two of you, accordingly! As the New Lunar Year begins, may you both have a long, prosperous, healthy and comfortably affluent life in the years ahead of you!
