Much earlier in life I was a student of Asian history, culture and civilisation. This was back in Berkeley in the early 70s and I was also a flaming liberal at that time (its a phase related to aged that we all go through) who habitually hung out at the Starry Plough, La Pena and Cafe del Sol, sharing that wonderful identity-affirmation with other undergrads that makes life feel so so energised when one is still in the impressionable, idealistic phase of life. My great appreciation or Sino-Asian culture had me thus resolved (if I ever married) to find an Asian woman to share my life with. And why was that?

A large part of my motivation was not even distantly related to what so many now call 'Yellow Fever', or the amorous, obsessive fixation so many young white men have with Asian women. Rather it was a profound respect for the Confucian traditions that the Chinese (and most Asian cultures) were so greatly influenced by. For me a large part of that heritage was the strong commitment Asian parents have to their progeny, and the sight of a young Asian mother tending her small charges in a park (for example) was always a poignant experience for me to witness.

Much later (after the passage of a few decades) I eventually decided it was time to settle down and the Chinese woman in reference and I have now successfully shared over 33 years of marriage together. During those years I have acquired a considerable in-depth appreciation of her culture that one cannot lift out of books written by Occidental 'Old China Hands' at university and this includes much familial folk wisdom, aphorisms and traditional customs.

One of those aphorisms relating to children and families states (and there are a great many) "When the life of a child begins, that of the parents dies." Metaphorically, it means: "Once you have a child (or start a family), all of your previous personal concerns, ambitions and aspirations must necessarily go on indefinite hold and all of your energy should be thereafter directed towards helping your children thrive and develop their own lives, so that they may become fully actualised, responsible adults and contributing members of society."

To a large extent, Westerners fail to grasp that salient bit of wise insight from the East and far too many children in America are regarded as secondary to the intensely narcissistic, solipsistic vanity that consumes so many of our younger people these days. Children are a serious matter, and although they are (or can be) a joy as you so perfectly describe, their creation is nothing to take lightly (which so many seem to do these days). Asian cultures recognise this critical imperative; Western societies, generally speaking, do not. It remains one of the saddest aspect of our intensely materialistic 'me-focused' lives in modern America today. And it will probably end up being inscribed on the cultural gravemarker that America's way of life is eventually buried under (along with Rome and so many other 'formerly great civilisations' of the past several thousand years that are now merely shadows in the dustbin of history).

Thanks for sharing these illuminating reflections with us (that never fail to spur my own)!