“ No one tells you what adulthood is really like…” Sorry, not true, Melissa. The real problem is that people in their 20s DO NOT (by and large) want to be told by ‘older adults’ (e.g. those who have hit their 3rd decade or more) the facts of life, how to love wisely, live sensibly and cope capably. Most people in this age 20ish age bracket grow up with a strong blocking bias towards ANYONE (except their same-age peers, ironically) who might wish to help them avoid many of the common errors and mistakes most people undergo in the so-called and ever arduous maturing process.
This is one of the great tragedies of modern life (the fact that most younger individuals have already written off anyone over the age of 30 as socially obsolescent, when in fact age and experience are usually both excellent resources to plumb) and it contrasts radically with what would be the norm in far older, often more primitive cultures wherein tribal elders and wiser individuals were looked up to as sources of useful sagacity to emulate.
Naturally enough, with so many erstwhile ‘adults’ (many are actually what I term ‘arrested juveniles’…physically older but still quite childish in their awarenesses and attitudes) setting the wrong example for their children these days, this tendency to ‘dis’ older people out of hand is somewhat understandable. But, as you point out, the ones to emulate and model one’s self after ARE out there. It just requires a bit of searching to find them and learn from them. In that sense, an inspiring role-model mentor is absolutely invaluable.
Socrates, back in ancient Greek times, is reputed to have stated it succinctly this way (or in words to this effect): “Always strive to associate with those who are superior to yourself in terms of their knowledge, abilities, understandings and humane intent, if you yourself wish to be a superior person.”
The ancient Chinese sage, Kongqiu (Confucius to us), addressed this subject exhaustively also and you might find a particular book titled ‘Original Confucianism: An Introduction to the Superior Person’ (by Adam Dietz), and available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Original-Confucianism-Introduction-Superior-Person/dp/0557595681/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=9780557595686&linkCode=qs&qid=1581546127&s=books&sr=1-1 , an excellent resource in this regard.
Of course, Confucianism also had a downside that is today not politically favored, but in the context of striving for personal maturity and wisdom, he was right on target.
One last thing: Young people are so generally ‘full of themselves’ (thanks largely to raging hormones) that they love to talk but are adverse to listening. My wife’s ancient Chinese Grandmother summed it all up beautifully, many years ago, when she advised me: “If you wish to be as smart and fully aware of life’s possibilities as possible, shut the mouth and use the ears.”
Today, her advice still resonates with me. Thanks for sharing your insights with us!
