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Outdoor Bob and the Leaf Blower From Hell…
[An episode from the continuing saga of how humming beans perpetually fail to resolve their inter-species conflicts peaceably, and in particular of the eternal fight against unreasonable disruption of our urban domestic harmony and serenity through thoughtless acts of wanton noise pollution (which has been clinically demonstrated, at least on lab rats, to increase maniacal, homicidal outbreaks of hostility).]
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We have this neighbor, see? I call him ‘Outdoor Bob’ because he’s ALWAYS outdoors. Bob frequently gives indications of being a real-life Tim ‘Tool-Time’ Taylor clone, since he appears obsessed with powerful, noxious and noisy mechanically operated garden tools.
Bob, so wifie learned some time ago from Bob’s better half, is a serious insomniac and since he has serious difficulties going to sleep at night, gets up at all hours and prowls around the neighborhood, ostensibly keeping an eye on things (Bob’s a one-time retired ex-prison guard).
That’s fine, since ‘Outdoor Bob’ is by rights a good fellow, communally spirited and a fine neighbor…except for his one truly aggravating idiosyncrasy and that’s an obsessive-compulsive relationship with his 200 HP, Dual-Hydramatic, turbo fuel-injected, fully suspended and supercharged gasoline leaf blower.
